TL;DR NEGATIVE 306

So. Today we played Rayman Revolution. Here are our thoughts (a.k.a. Chelsea and Clarinet's thoughts, because I'm sure that Olovio would like it).

*Chelsea's text will be underlined and Clarinet's will be bold. HOT.

So I bought this game on a whim way back when I was in elementary school. I never played the first Rayman game, I just wanted a new game to play. Well, I could never seem to get past the part where you rescued Ly from whatever so I gave up. Here I am a million years later, finally rescuing the ugly butt with Clarinet, and the godforsaken game doesn't save. It would make sense for it to you know, SAVE AFTER AN IMPORTANT EVENT. But no. Apparently it's okay to just keep going without any extra health to help you finish the frodoing level. What's worse is that when you save in the middle of somewhere, it doesn't count it. You're only able to start back at checkpoints and no where in between. AAAGAGGGHHGHGHGHGHHHH. This is a problem I had with Timesplitters: Future Perfect, but at least that game was good.

BLERGH is the phrase I would use to describe this freakin' game. It was so freakin' bad that we started a point system to try to describe how bad it was. Every time something annoyed us, we'd take away points. Every time we liked something, we'd add them. As you can probably tell from the title of this post, the final tally was -306. GHH
Let's make a list of things we hated. It'll be a long long long list.
-CAMERA FREAKIN' ANGLES. They were just hideous.
-The Raymanian language, which was pretty much just muttering and whispering.
-Creepy characters. There's this frog named "Murfy" who whispers creepily at you and invades your thoughts to give you help. His teeth are almost bigger than his face. Chelsea would like to add that they are upsetting and unsavory. Very, very, very upsetting.
-Climbing. It's inconsistent. Sometimes the vines are 2D, sometimes they're 3D, and sometimes you're not even on them at all. Sometimes it just sort of looks like Rayman is hanging in space. I wish he were hanging in space so he'd FALL AND DIE.
-Dying sucks.
-Health boost placement. You get little red fairy things for killing enemies, but they usually don't help too much, and they often don't cover your losses from fighting the enemy. There were zillions of them in the beginning of the game, when there were no enemies, and thus they weren't necessary.
-SAVING. It doesn't work. Chelsea already covered this, but I would like to add my disdain to hers. GHHHHHHHHHHHH
-The level of challenge in this game is bizarre. The enemies are too easy in theory, but with the horrendous camera, it makes them more of a pain to deal with than they should be. 
-Rayman's constant need to GRAB THE EDGE OF THINGS is a constant annoyance. I just wanted to drop down somewhere next to a wall so that I could hit a button, but he just kept grabbing the edge. Of course, he only seems to do this when you actually want to drop down. Again because of the bad camera, you sometimes end up falling down into areas that don't even look like places to fall in. SUCKS.

ADORABLE.

Although there's more to hate, there were some things that we liked about the game, though they're pretty inconsequential to the overall enjoyment we got out of it.
-The option to have German audio was nice. The Raymanian and English voices suck, so that was a godsend. It was too bad that we couldn't have Italian voices; it was only offered for text.
-Globox's children were really adorable, especially with their German voices.
-WE GOT JUMPING MUSHROOMS. BOUNCY MUSHROOMS. MMMMMMMMMMMM
-The 3D wasn't too terribly awful, especially for 1999, when it came out.

In conclusion, Rayman < EVERYTHING ELSE. Including EyeToy, which we had some serious fun playing this mornin'. Y'all.

IT SUCKS. BYE.